I haven’t written a post on here in a few weeks. For one, things have been a bit crazy in the final stages before my book releases (yay!) and the holidays and all that, but also, I’ve been waiting. Waiting to have something worthwhile. Waiting to see if the things I want to write about are still in my heart after giving it some time.
The more I have thought lately on waiting, the more sad I am for my children and all the waiting they’ll miss. Don’t get me wrong; I hate waiting. We all do, that’s why there are so many inventions in our lives to try to eliminate it every way we can. The trouble with that is that refining comes from the waiting, and though we can shortcut the waiting, we cannot shortcut the refining.
Think of all the things we once waited on that our children never will. Waiting to get a call from a boy that got your number…or waiting that three days or whatever the protocol was to call them back. Now, kids search a name on social media and begin speaking immediately. Before it’s been a week, they know all about this other person and are automatically together. It’s so rushed, no one has a chance to think about anything because we live on autopilot. We live with decisions controlling us instead of us controlling the decisions.
Even waiting for answers isn’t the same. Google has eliminated our need for others. I am a chronic googler. Seriously. In fact, just a couple of years ago, I felt convicted over how often I turn to google instead of others and had to learn how to wait. I had to wait long enough to call or text a parent or inlaw to ask them my question and then wait for their answer. It sounds so simple, but we are not a people accustomed to that. Even little things like that one missing ingredient I forgot or a question about taxes I want answered immediately. Forcing myself to turn to others and wait really taught me a lot about opening up lines of communication and relationships.
I bought my girls Anna and Elsa dresses after Halloween to wear to Disney in December. They were beautiful dresses from a smaller company, and I got them for a really great price. They got to try them on a few times, but I didn’t want them to ruin them before we went to eat with the princesses at Disney. They waited. Then they waited and waited some more. Weeks went by before we were ready to leave, and still, they had to wait two long days worth of driving before we were even at Disney World! THEN, to make matters worse, the breakfast wasn’t until Friday, and we got there Monday! It almost killed my 4 year old to see her Anna coronation dress hanging there so long. Finally, Friday morning came. I dressed them, fixed their hair, and we were in a hurry to catch our bus (late as usual) and guess what happened? My 5 year old did not pick up her dress enough stepping onto the bus and RIPPED the Elsa dress. Bad. Right in the middle on the belly plain as day to see. The horror! There was nothing we could do at the time, and though she wore it through the breakfast, the hole got larger as time went on. By the time we had finished and headed to a different park, she was ready to change into the clothes I had brought. My husband and I felt SO sorry for that sweet girl, and to be perfectly honest with you, I was on my phone looking on Amazon at Elsa dresses the first free second I got that day. I have no idea why, but I didn’t buy one. I waited.
I waited until we got home, and looked again, but I still waited. I waited for my daughter to come mention her dress. She still hasn’t. Not once. She’s played in the dress plenty and the hole hasn’t bothered her once. I wondered if waiting for a dress for so long wasn’t maybe a really good thing, in the long run. Maybe waiting until her birthday for another (February) if she brings it up wouldn’t be good, as well.
Waiting is hard. It’s not fun, it’s ugly and can look grumpy, confused, and frustrated. But, maybe the waiting is giving us time to decide something with a better perspective. Many times in my youth, I have hoped for a boy to call those first couple of days and would have jumped at the chance for a date immediately, but a few days removed, I realized I didn’t care as much for the idea as the moment led me to believe. The waiting for an answer to a simple question from a parent has given me a much better relationship with my family, and at the same time, it has taught me to figure things out for myself instead of turning to an immediate answer from another. And, maybe not getting a replacement for something you thought you wanted isn’t near as bad as it seemed when you first lost it.
Waiting is hard, but good. Praying for those of you waiting this week. Praying you have peace in the silence and peace in the answers.