I’ve said a few times to friends and family that my family is currently in limbo. We’re still fully planted in one city, while attempting to root in another one hours away. We really can’t start anything much here, but we can’t start anything there yet. And while saying goodbye is hard, this new season has been a long time coming, and so, our hearts are already there in the new city and life.
And there are some things left to still process. For one, I love cities. Love to explore them, try all that they have to offer in food, arts, and entertainment, but since becoming a mother, I have never wanted to live in one. Not one larger than the one we’re in at least…I mean, Target’s don’t go to the tiny towns and why would I leave Target? But I digress. For the last several years, when I pictured this new season, it looked like an old farm-style type house (ideally of course, those are hard to find in this state). It looked like living outside of town on a road without many houses, where I could plant fruit trees, berry bushes, and raise chickens. Where the kids could play out in the front, I could hang laundry on a line, and my dog needed no fencing. sigh. doesn’t it sound lovely?
But, God has plans for our family, and those plans put us smack dab in a city several times the size of the one we live in now. No old country road. Homeowners associations replace the orchard ideas. And lots of fencing. at least there are several targets to choose from. But, this wasn’t my plan. In fact, it’s the opposite of my plan.
But this is a time when I am grateful for the spiritual markers in my life, because I know that this is now another. It’s a chance to stick a moment down deep into the sand of my life for all those around me to see the hand of the Lord. It’s also the time for me to look back and remember. I have had many times when my plan was opposite to His. in fact, I prayed to be single like Paul forever. But He had someone planned for me. Then I prayed to maybe not have children, but to serve him and adopt those children without families. But He had souls He needed in this world and who needed a place too. Several times, I have prayed one thing, and He has answered completely opposite.
And each time, it has been good.
So I can know with certainty that this time is no different. He is faithful. He will provide for us, and we know that in the context of food or finances, but He’ll provide love too. I know that though my heart might yearn for sitting on a farm house porch until I have one or finally live with Him, He will grow within me a love for all those people driving past me on the interstates. All those people on the streets. All those people.
So, have faith. Sometimes, His opposite seems so discouraging, but it’s only because we can’t see the big picture. Your Father loves you and has plans for you, for your good, not your harm.